Dear Chris...
Dear Chris: There is so much that sucks about this. One of the things that sucks the most is that my brain won’t even let me remember what was good about us. I know my mind is protecting me, and that if I start to let myself remember the love and hope and effort I put into you as my husband and my friend and partner, I would have a damn hard time functioning like a normal person. And I need like hell to function like a normal person. I’m a single mom. So part of me died when you died. When you made yourself die, you made part of me die. That doesn’t seem fair, but our relationship was never about fairness. It was about you being you, but not telling me who you really were, and me seeing your unhappiness and thinking it was my fault, or that I could fix it by being better. It was about me always trying to be better, to be everything, so that you could be less unhappy. That’s most of what I remember. The kids ask me questions about certain moments when you were still their fath